Saying Goodbye: Part One

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As I think back it’s stunning. Truly stunning. I’ve experienced a lot of loss. For the past two years, I’ve been saying good bye to many friends and loved ones, all close to home. I pwant to write a series on my journey back to wholeness. I want to share the sad moments as well as the magical gifts I’ve had since, for there is a lot of love beyond the grief.

Although he didn’t leave the earth for me chronologically, Zeke (2003-1015) is the one who has had the most impact on my animal loss. He crossed suddenly, didn’t say a word to me beforehand. He quietly slipped away one night in his sleep. I have been to our special beach  exactly once, alone, on a quiet afternoon. He was very present to where I could swear I saw him running along with me as I walked. The hardest part being true for us all, they are with us anytime we call on them, but their physical presence is the part that we miss so much.

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One thing I’ve finally learned is that each day is a gift. Each day with our animal friends, is an amazing gift. And although that would be a lovely greeting card – it really is true. Their lives are much shorter than ours. We know that.  We fall in love anyway. And in the end it’s  always worth it. Every minute of every adventure. Zeke’s all over this blog as I proclaimed my love to the world for him. He was, and always will be my dog. My dearest friend. He’s happy where he is too. No promises of coming back to the earth plane anytime soon. And I get it, and it’s fine

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About a year before we lost Zeke, Big Al (2000-2014) was finished with his long life here. His big old body was done, but he’d eat a cookie if offered, right until  the end . Unlike Zeke, Al called to me a few times (as some of my elder animal friends do) and asked to be sent home. It was a lovely late summer afternoon. Many of Al’s “flying friends” were about to pay their respects. Those of us who he loved the most all spoke quietly with him. We took turns and had some special words with him. He was a friend to all animals and a presence for humans to work around. As much as I loved Al, he was breathtakingly large. His eyes showed distrust of strangers and most would back way off. It made me giggle because under that mask was a little old man who was set in his ways. It’s a good reminder that the “packaging” of an animal or a human for that matter, has little to do with who is inside. Al taught me so much. He and Bart were the first to help me learn animal communication. Their love and loyalty are still with me today. Your animal friends who you don’t think are near – are really a call away. I will always love and remember you “Big Guy”.

“It’s a good reminder that the ‘packaging’ of an animal or a human for that matter has little to do with who is inside.”

But there was a moment on my first walk with Zeke in his energy form, that let me know he was there.zeke_agate Our beaches are thick with sand right now. The changes from El Nino to La Nina have wreaked a little havoc and after each storm, the usual goodies are harder to find. But as I was nearing the trail for my hike off the beach, I heard a distinct voice say “You like shiny rocks…don’t you.” It was a statement more than a question and two steps later I found this beauty. I  walked to a backdrop of rocks to shoot a photo and show its beautiful distinct qualities. But I found it in dry sand. That’s never happened before. The question followed by an agate? Yes.That has happened to me before.

It is the magic that is helping me to move forward. There is much more to my story. But as I start back  I’ve been truly blessed by knowing these two great dogs who played such important roles in my life when they walked the earth plane.

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